50-yo Latina Lesbian Angela Briones Feels the Self Doubt & Does the Damn Thing Anyway

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:00:00]: Welcome back to another episode of Living Your Best Damn Life One "Fuck Yeah, I Did!" At A Time. We are here to challenge our perspectives and beliefs of what is possible for us, shift paradigms, and help each of us know that we are not so damn alone in this wildly disconnected world. I'm Jen Vertanen, "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach, and I am thrilled to introduce my guest today, Angela Briones. She goes by, Angela, Ang. We'll we'll see how this shakes out. But, Angela, welcome. I am so excited to have this conversation with you.

Angela Briones [00:00:34]: Thanks, Jen. Thanks for having me. I really I'm really excited to be here

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:00:37]: with you. So a quick bio on on Ange. Outside of her 9 or 8 to 5, I work 9 to 5, so I read the 8 to 5. I'm like, oh. I, you are a podcaster and writer who is obsessed with Law and Order SVU and all things bravo, and you are also a very proud lesbian Latina. I love that. Yes. I didn't know should it be Latina who's a lesbian.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:01:04]: I just you know, that's what you gave me, so that's what we went with.

Angela Briones [00:01:08]: Yeah. I've asked the same question too.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:01:10]: I really gotta know.

Angela Briones [00:01:11]: I think I think gram it was Grammarly who

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:01:14]: Oh, okay.

Angela Briones [00:01:15]: Lesbian, Latina. So I just said okay.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:01:17]: Tell us real quick what your podcast is about, and then we'll hop into kind of the meat of the conversation.

Angela Briones [00:01:23]: Yeah. Sure. So my podcast is called The Gay Podcast For Everyone. And my hope with it is that it is for everyone, that it's for my LGBTQ+ community and our friends, our families, our allies, where we can share what it is we need from one another. You know? We could share our own our each of our perspectives and kinda see that not not only our own journey is kinda mirroring each other when we're coming out as an LGBTQ community or our parents are coming out as the parents of LGBTQ folks, but also that at the end of the day, our lives are very, very similar. And so I thought it would be nice to have a space where each, I guess, each side of the community, I guess, if you if so to speak, could have a space to just share and connect and have a conversation from there, hopefully.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:02:20]: That. I mean, that is that's what I love about podcasting so much. And the type of show that I envision this to be is having those organic conversations. And again, to help us individually feel that we are not so alone. I have my own stories of decades of just heartbreaking loneliness that no one would have guessed from the outside. And so it's very near and dear to my heart. And, I've I've interviewed someone who was was identified as a very large woman, and I also had a friend listening to that episode who was I mean, you could fit her in your pocket. Right? She calls me on a road trip crying, and I'm like, what what's going on? And she's like, I had to pull over because I just listened to so and so's episode, and I connected so deeply with it.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:03:11]: Right? And and the episode wasn't a weight or about weight or body or any of that, but it was just listening to our stories. We are we have so much more in common than we don't, and I think that's what you're saying as well.

Angela Briones [00:03:27]: Yeah. For sure. Because I feel like definitely, I'm I'm 50, so my parents are in their seventies. And I know growing up in the eighties nineties, you know, I didn't really know any other gay people, to be honest. It was a while before I realized, oh, so and so, who was my friend, was gay too,

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:03:48]: but we didn't talk about that.

Angela Briones [00:03:50]: And we may not have even known it ourselves. You know? Like, it was a long time before I figured out that I was gay. Now for my parents, you know, I just started putting myself in their shoes and kind of tried to take an empathetic view. It took me a while. I you know, that didn't happen overnight, but I started thinking, oh, the same way I'm in the closet, the same way I've been trying to figure out how to tell people, they might be doing the same thing too. They might be trying to figure out, you know, how do I tell people, quote, unquote, about me

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:04:22]: and Jen.

Angela Briones [00:04:22]: You know? How do I how do I share her truth? Am I supposed to share her truth? And there were conversations that we just didn't have because we didn't know how to have them. You know? I'm sure they coulda just asked me, hey. Can I tell so and so? Or what do I do in this situation? But it wasn't a comfortable space. So that's why I wanted to have the podcast because I really wanted to number 1, celebrate parents who were demonstrating an unconditional love, which you think, well, that's a parent's job. Right? They're supposed

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:04:55]: to do that, you would think. Right? Yes. I am.

Angela Briones [00:04:58]: But that's not always the case. But I really wanted to highlight the fact that, you know, we hear so many stories of things that don't work out or a bad story or a sad story. And I just wanted to highlight the good stories because there are good parents out there, and there are parents out there who are, you know, not so overt and not so brazen, and maybe they're afraid to wave the the the gay flag, you know, for whatever reason. You know? Or maybe they're just timid, you know, like my parents. You know? It's just it's not their their place. Like, that's not just not who they are in general Yeah. You know, about anything. They're very shy people or quiet people.

Angela Briones [00:05:42]: And so I wanted to give people like that a place where they could just listen to other people going through the same thing, and maybe they might get an idea of of what to do going forward or how to start a con conversation going forward.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:05:59]: Absolutely. And that's you know, again, that is the premise behind behind Living Your Best Damn Life is let's learn from each other. Right? We've all been through some shit. Yeah. Right? We've all Yeah. Forged our path forward. Right? Let's share some of those those scars and wounds and, like, help bring others along in their journey. Before we do that, though, I am a baby pansexual.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:06:27]: My husband knows this. This is not a surprise. But in honor of this recording, I wore my tasteful noods shirt Nice. Because I've discovered I really love boobs. So there you have it.

Angela Briones [00:06:43]: There you go.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:06:44]: With that, though, you know, I am very big on giving ourselves permission, right, especially around doing the thing or the things that are so meaningful to us, things that we want to do so, so badly. Right? And often, what gets in our way is ourselves. I mean, right, it that's just a part of being a human. I've done it. Yeah. I can't think of a single person in the whole who's ever existed in this whole entire world who hasn't gotten in their way at some point. And that's you know, it's something that kinda breaks my heart because there is so much. You know, we're in our fifties with endless opportunities and possibilities and scenarios in front of us us yet, but it takes courage to make those first steps.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:07:41]: Right? And then when you do the thing, it's like, oh, that actually wasn't so hard. But doing the first couple of steps so I'm curious from your own life, whether it's professional, personal, both, how have you gotten out of your own way, or where are you still in your own way? Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:08:03]: I think sometimes it's both. Mhmm. Do you know what I mean? Because, like, the podcast is a perfect example. I wanted to start this podcast. I started it in 2020, June of 2020. I wanted to do it probably a year or 2 before that, but I didn't, and I don't even know why. Like, I re I remember I recorded, like, 2 episodes with guests, by the way, with a guest, and and I never published them. And I don't even know why I didn't publish them.

Angela Briones [00:08:38]: And when I look back, I think I think, gosh, Angela, you know, you would have put your podcast out before podcasting Mhmm. Was a thing if you'd done it when you really wanted to. And there would have been some good things about that and some bad things about that. Like, the good things being, it was before anybody did it. Right? The bad thing being, you know, there wasn't all, like, a squad cast, what we're talking on

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:09:03]: right now. Threads to help support each other, which is how we met. Right. Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:09:09]: Right. I mean, it's so much easier to find a guest right now. Like, I mean, you meet such great people, right, on Instagram. I mean, everybody on Instagram is great. So there are good and bad things, but, like, I definitely got in my own way at that time. You know? And I couldn't even tell you why. I've thought about that recently because it all it always kinda haunts me, to be honest. Like, it always haunts me that I didn't do something when I really wanted to because it's just wasted time.

Angela Briones [00:09:38]: And, ultimately, it's all okay. You know, everything happens in the timing that's supposed to happen, whatever, but it still does feel very much like a waste of time. But

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:09:51]: Yeah. Again,

Angela Briones [00:09:52]: as I continue this podcast and, you know, go from I mean, I really do celebrate every episode when I get published.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:09:59]: It's a big deal. It is a labor of love. Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:10:03]: It is. There's so many steps involved. Like, nobody told me how many steps are in line. I know. I know.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:10:08]: I'm gonna start a Yeah. An SOP this weekend, a standard operating procedure doc for mine this weekend because I'm like, there are so many steps, and I'm gonna miss an important one.

Angela Briones [00:10:20]: Yes. And it's like you exactly what you just said. It's like nobody told me all the things that need to happen. I just thought I hit record Yeah. And go. And I think I spend more time, like, preparing or or doing some sort of postproduction aspect of the podcast than actually podcasting. So I think that's always really interesting, but I celebrate every episode because it's usually a mental hurdle for me every time. I will tell myself every single time, you know, who are you to have this conversation? You know? There's like, somebody else is doing it.

Angela Briones [00:11:03]: Somebody else is doing it better. All these things. And they're all just excuses. It's all just fear, and I know that. But I I honestly Jen, I have to work through it every single time. There has not been one episode that I haven't had to step back and work my way back through it.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:11:21]: I I well, I was gonna say I love that. I don't love that for you, but you know what I mean.

Angela Briones [00:11:27]: No. I get it. I get it.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:11:29]: A deeper dive on when you say you know, you have the inner critic coming up, the saboteur. What are you actually doing each time to kind of move yourself through that? And I I'm a, you know, huge believer in doing so from a place of kindness and compassion for yourself. And I only it's only within the last few years that I learned how to do that for myself and to not beat myself up for it. So I'd love a little peek inside your brain and process as you're doing that.

Angela Briones [00:12:07]: Sure. Well, one of the biggest things that I didn't anticipate when I started podcasting was it was like these layers were I don't even wanna say they were yeah. I guess they were I was peeling back layers and then not realizing that there was stuff underneath. Do you know what I'm saying? And so as I'm having these vulnerable conversations with people, I'm realizing that at the crux of absolutely everything is that I grew up in a space and at a time where children were really I don't wanna say seen in the herd, but

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:12:47]: kind of Me too. Me too. Thing. You know? My mom wasn't even trying to hide that that's

Angela Briones [00:12:52]: what she said. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like, a good kid would be you know, sit over in the corner and play quietly. You know, you play quietly, and you get affirmation and acceptance and everything for being quiet. And when you're loud, you get reprimanded or there's some sort of message of shame that's involved. And so I started realizing that, oh, when I'm sitting behind this microphone and I'm speaking out loud, there's something happening over here that's telling me not to speak, to be quiet. What if you say the wrong thing?

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:13:31]: That's a big one. If you Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:13:33]: Yeah. What if you what if you, you know, what if you say the wrong thing?

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:13:38]: For me, it's what if I unintentionally harm someone? Like, I'm never going to knowingly harm someone, but words matter. Right? Impact is greater than intention. Yeah. I feel you on that.

Angela Briones [00:13:51]: Yeah. And, I mean, my podcast, The Gay Podcast For Everyone, I step into it all the time, and I usually say I I many times, I say, I will probably say this wrong. I don't know that you know, I'm I'm gonna be really honest that I don't know how to say this, and I want to create a space where we can ask each other questions and say, hey. I really wanna know more about this, and I'm probably gonna fumble my way through it, but I need to because it's the only way I can get the answer. And I really want the, you know, the cishet folks who are listening to the conversation to understand that even as a gay person, I also have questions Yeah. Or I also am navigating my way through. So we can have that conversation together, and we can we can stumble through it, and that's okay. So I've to answer your question, to go back and answer your question, what's happening in the back of my head is just that of of is it okay that I'm saying this out loud? Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:14:59]: You know? It's okay that I'm talking about this topic that I was as I was growing up, I was in a closet, you know, in the closet, I should say.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:15:08]: The big closet.

Angela Briones [00:15:09]: I didn't say yeah. It's like, I'm saying this word that I wasn't supposed to say. This word that has inherent shame Yeah. Is this okay? And so I work through that every time. You know? And then also, to be honest, like, my age has a lot of to do with it with what I'm saying in the back of my head. It's like, Angela, you're 50. Like, really, you're podcasting? Like, that's something that somebody younger should

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:15:41]: be doing. I love this. What you do. I love this.

Angela Briones [00:15:44]: You know? Like, you're 50 years old. Like, you should be on a beach somewhere, retire, whatever. You know, like, something. Like, you should your life should look different than I'm wearing a Beyonce shirt.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:15:56]: I love that.

Angela Briones [00:15:56]: You know? And you know what I'm saying? And so it's not fitting in the box that other people have set up. And sometimes that makes me question things, but then I go, yeah, whatever. I'm doing my thing. You know?

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:16:11]: I gave myself I've always been somewhat bold and confident and courageous on the outside. Right? This year, I finally like, my insides kinda matched my outsides, and so I'm I'm show I'm showing up, and I'm feeling much bolder and much more confident. And I'm like, I'm I'm a box disruptor. I don't know if that's, like, a technical term, but that's what I'm calling myself. I aging is and, like, again, I see endless possibilities and scenarios in front of me no matter my age. I collect stories of older people doing really cool shit. One one of my favorites is she was an 80 year old woman who published her debut novel. It was about the 13 lives or or the erotic lives of 13 older women.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:17:05]: What? Talk about disrupting the conversation. Yeah. You know? So I collect these stories as inspiration for myself of, like, you are never too old to you know you may have life circumstances. You may have health challenges. Absolutely. But I always think there's kernels of what we want that we can make come true even in those. And I always think of, like, what is the feeling that I want to have? And if a, b, and c aren't if I'm not able to do a, b, and c, can d give me part of that feeling? So that's just my approach to life. Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:17:45]: Well and 2 things. 1, she's 80 years old with a debut novel. Right. You know? Huge.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:17:53]: And I can't remember if she'd written all her life and just never, you know, moved forward with it or if she I think because I had read her this was a couple years ago. I think she actually started writing later in life and kinda that same thing of, like, who am I to do this? You know, years spent thinking it it she was past her point where she could do that, and I have to go look her up again. But I I wonder, like, what was that saying that finally said, I'm doing this?

Angela Briones [00:18:23]: Yeah. I I wonder that too. Because, like, even with podcasting, you know, I'm sure there are other people who are our age who wanna podcast too, and they think, you know, I can't do that. You know? I don't whatever it is. I don't know what microphone to use. I don't know. I don't have a tech savvy or whatever it is. I mean, you know, now we know that it's super easy.

Angela Briones [00:18:49]: And, of course, people will say things like, you know, this is the easiest time to do it because we can speak to each other remotely, and we can do all these things. But it's still there's something inside of us that is either gonna, like, stop us or push us forward. And I feel like for me, this second show poke. I was thinking earlier, That that kinda just drives me, especially when I think you know, when I see my gray hair and I'm 50 years old or what have you, is I think about my best friend, Ruby. She passed away at the age of 43. So sorry. She had ovarian cancer. And thank you.

Angela Briones [00:19:23]: And she was the most vibrant, non filter person, and she was so proud of her of not having a filter, which was great. And, you know, when I turned 50 this year, we were around the same age. She would have been 51, actually. We were a year apart. And I was just like, man, we were supposed to do this together. You know? We were supposed to do whatever. And then I always think, like, every time I wanna stop something and and, like, I need to create feel creative somehow, whether it's writing, podcasting, whatever. You know? She was one of my biggest cheerleaders for sure.

Angela Briones [00:20:04]: And whenever I'm hesitant to say something, I just think about her.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:20:09]: I think

Angela Briones [00:20:09]: about Ruby and her filth of not having a filter. And, like, what would Ruby do? And Ruby would say, oh my god. You

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:20:16]: know? She's doing

Angela Briones [00:20:17]: it anyway.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:20:18]: Ruby's time Yes. She was too soon and

Angela Briones [00:20:22]: Definitely.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:20:23]: Yeah. And I think that's the thing. You know, people do ask me, like, well, what if something happens to you? What if you do get a chronic illness? And I'm like, then I then I pause and I figure it out from there. Right? I can't predict what's gonna happen, so I'm done living in that space of what if. You know? And I Yeah. You know, as you were talking about that, it makes me think of the the older women on TikTok that are just I mean, they're so funny. I'm I just there's so many I want them to adopt me and be my grandma, please.

Angela Briones [00:21:02]: They might

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:21:02]: not want me, and that's okay. You know? But it's I I love that you shared that story of Ruby, because that's really what it comes down to, right, is are you gonna reach the end of your time when you don't really know what it is and be like, I wish I would have done that. Right? And and I love that you shared that you have this driving why, which I think is I mean, that's what it is. Right? It's the motivation. It's every every time you publish an episode. And is yours weekly? Monthly. Okay. So

Angela Briones [00:21:37]: And what's funny No. Go ahead.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:21:39]: To interrupt

Angela Briones [00:21:40]: you. What's funny about that is I wish it was at least every 2 weeks. But as we were talking about before we started recording with a full time job, sometimes things are very challenging. And so for a minute, I was trying to do it more often, and then I was like, you know what? Consistency is also once a month. And if and when you can do it more, then you give yourself permission to do it more then. But in the meantime, just do this. And it's hard to not lie to you because I see other people, like, I see other people doing it, you know, more often. Their frequency is just off the charts.

Angela Briones [00:22:18]: And then I have to remember to stay in my own lane, which is easy. And I'll tell you, like, the biggest thing for me is just having people in my life, my partner, and also my sister, my sibling, who, you know, just they're my cheerleaders, just like Ruby was. You know? Like, I can go to them and I can complain, and they will let me complain, and then they'll let let me find my way back onto the track. Absolutely. And I think everybody needs that. I but I think we got it. I have to give myself permission to to completely derail, and I do and I will. And then I have to give myself permission to slowly get back on the track.

Angela Briones [00:23:01]: Like we And it happens over and over and over.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:23:04]: I just earlier, or end of last week, I had another mini existential crisis, and this is an old pattern of mine. This time, I wasn't questioning my my business, my, the umbrella of my business, the podcast. Like, I wasn't questioning any of that, but I'm like, I don't really I don't think my main offering is it yet. Right? Past me would have spent, I don't know, weeks, sometimes years if I'm being honest. But this version of me who's done a lot of work, internal work, it was a day or 2, but I'm like, I'm not gonna force myself through it. Right? Again, bringing that grace and kindness to it and patience, which is hard for me. I'm not a patient person. And I wanna double tap, to use a word from my corporate day job.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:23:54]: I wanna double tap on what you said that it's hard. Right? We're not gonna sugarcoat it. We're not gonna, like, positive, toxic BS over it. It can be hard as hell. But what I also heard you saying, and this is what I want folks to take away, is that if you have a strong enough why, if you have that strong enough motivator behind it, that's what makes it worth it. Right? That's what makes going through the hard because you know that ultimately it's serving what you want to do, what fills you up as a person. Yeah. I love that.

Angela Briones [00:24:34]: Yeah. Yeah. Because there's so many times. I'm not gonna lie. I have thought, oh, it's so much easier

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:24:41]: to quit Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:24:42]: Just not to do it. It's so much easier. And, yes, it would be easier, but it also feels like Kryptonite. Like, it feels like it's killing me not to do it. And so that's where I went to the monthly podcast thing, because I was just like, you know, if I can show up consistently every month and know it's not the frequency that I really want, but if I can just do that and show myself and continue to have that example for myself, you know, maybe on its own, it'll the frequency will increase. Yeah. But in the meantime, I mean, I gotta tell you, you know, for me, I don't know how people do it with kids.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:25:29]: Yeah. I

Angela Briones [00:25:29]: don't have kids. You know? I don't know.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:25:32]: An empty nester. I feel you.

Angela Briones [00:25:35]: I'm like, I'm barely doing this with the full time job. I've got my dog and I've got, you know, my partner, and and, you know, we'd stay busy on the weekends and stuff. And, of course, my parents are in Austin and my sister and brother-in-law in San Antonio. And so, like, we stay busy. And sometimes it feels like like even getting on this podcast, you know, I was talking to my mom prior, and she was like, what are you doing tonight? And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna join a friend for a podcast. And I feel when I say that, I feel like I'm a teenage girl telling

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:26:06]: my mom, like, I'm gonna

Angela Briones [00:26:07]: go do this thing with my friend. You know? And in fact,

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:26:10]: it's very talk on the phone like it's 1982.

Angela Briones [00:26:17]: And I and I know she's not doing this, but I feel like, you know, she's probably thinking, okay.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:26:22]: You know,

Angela Briones [00:26:23]: that's cute for you. But I know that's not it, but that's the feeling. And I'm like, I kinda like that this podcasting Mhmm. Life does feel a little bit playful.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:26:35]: It's a creative outlet, and like we said, it's a labor of love.

Angela Briones [00:26:41]: Very much.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:26:41]: I think the nugget there is you know, it's not the cadence that you have right now isn't the ideal for you, but you have found what works for right now, right, while holding the vision of maybe someday something will change, and I'll be able to do it more. But that you didn't let that stop you, and that is the message. Right? You didn't let that stop you. So I'm wondering what advice do you have for someone listening in, whether they wanna start a podcast or do something else. And especially if it's something that they're like, I'm gonna run into that inner critic, like, on a monthly, a daily, a weekly basis. Like, what advice do you have to them to get started or to take the next step?

Angela Briones [00:27:30]: Yeah. It's so hard because, you know, people always say, just start.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:27:34]: That is true. Duh.

Angela Briones [00:27:36]: That is true. Because I do I do very much regret that I didn't start when I really wanted to. Right? But I think one of the things that has been really kind of a saving grace for me has been journaling. And I've always journaled to some degree, like, in the morning, like, in the writer world and creative world

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:28:00]: Yeah. With

Angela Briones [00:28:00]: Julia Cameron's Yep. Artist way. I've been doing the the morning pages

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:28:04]: I'll link that in the show notes for folks.

Angela Briones [00:28:07]: Nice. Yeah. And, I've been doing the morning pages for years, but it wasn't until recently that I kinda started doing them a little bit different. Before I was doing it, as Julia Cameron says in Yeah. In the book, you know, kind of like a stream of consciousness writing.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:28:23]: For 10 minutes? Is that how long she does? I do 3 pages,

Angela Briones [00:28:28]: so however long that takes. For me, it takes about 40 minutes, to be honest. And but I did start changing it once I started in the last couple of years, really, once I started the podcast more. Well, once I started to podcast a little different, I should say. Like, with a little more intention of just really focusing on, like, what is stopping me, I think that's when the layers started to peel back, and that's when things started feeling like, you know, I was, like, shaking something of, like, what's happening? So I started doing those morning pages with more intention. And instead of a stream of consciousness, I was really asking myself questions. You know? Like, what is it that when you wanna quit, what is that thing? What's happening there? And what's that fear? And what's that about? And I really just kind of kept writing with, like, trying to dig and dig and dig and dig. And I feel like it really has helped me because, yeah, you should just start the thing you wanna do and take action and put one through to the other.

Angela Briones [00:29:33]: You know? The path will lay itself out. Exactly. But more so, like, at the end of the day, it's literally just you doing the thing. Nobody else can do it for you. And I as I'm saying these words, I'm telling myself the words back. Absolutely. And yeah. And it's like I feel like journaling and asking myself those questions has kinda helped me every day go back to revisit, and I could have a week of, you know, of I haven't done anything.

Angela Briones [00:30:08]: I'm standing still. Why am I standing still? But at least I feel like I have myself to go back to. Yep. Absolutely. And I feel like that has been very helpful. It's, like, been a home base for me to kind of be as honest as it can be about the things that are stopping me and why I'm stopping myself.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:30:32]: To the root of it so you can understand it. Because once you understand and you're aware, it's like, oh, now I have something tangible I can actually start working on. Yeah.

Angela Briones [00:30:43]: Right. And and then I because I have to answer that inner critic when she pops up, and then I have to come back and say, okay. I recognize what's happening here.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:30:54]: Been here before. Been here many times. Yeah. As a well worn

Angela Briones [00:30:58]: pack. What we're gonna do.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:30:59]: You're so cute doing this to me again.

Angela Briones [00:31:02]: Exactly. So it's like I have to work through it on my own. And as much as I wanna, you know, talk my partner to death about all the things about me. Like, don't you wanna hear about me all the time?

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:31:14]: Help me. Even to my sister.

Angela Briones [00:31:17]: Yeah. Like, I at the end of the day, I do have to help myself. So I feel like that has been really, really helpful. Just like more intentional morning pages.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:31:28]: I love that. And, you know, I don't know your experience with that, but I found that, I so I don't love the concept of forming habits, but the this is what it's gonna sound like. It's like the more you do it and, yes, you have to really intentionally think about it to begin with. But one day you wake up and you're like, oh, it's just kind of second nature to think this way. And you're like, when did that happen? You're like, I don't know, but I like it. Right?

Angela Briones [00:31:54]: Yeah. Well, you know and you mentioned building habits, and it made me immediately think, like, what's when you asked what's something you can do to, like, make the thing happen, building the

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:32:04]: space. Mhmm.

Angela Briones [00:32:05]: Like, if you just start to build the space, like, if you wanna write, you know, and start to build that what does your ideal writing space look like? You know? And just kinda start doing that. Or what does your ideal podcast space look like? And just do it little by little. It kinda calls you there. You know? So I think that's part of it too.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:32:25]: This has been wonderful. And as we wrap up Thanks. A favorite question of mine, and it is not a favorite of others all the time. If we really knew you and if we really knew your journey, what would we know? It can be funny, poignant, full of wisdom, like, playful. It it sky's the limit here.

Angela Briones [00:32:48]: Yeah. I think people are always surprised that, like, I'm a little more spicy. Like, I'm a Yeah. Yeah.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:32:56]: I love it.

Angela Briones [00:32:57]: And I think a lot of people are like, oh, you're so nice, whatever. And I'm I'm nice. I'm nice. I'm like but, you know, I will say what I need to say too.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:33:08]: I love that.

Angela Briones [00:33:09]: And that always throws people off because I'll always get like, I didn't know you were like that. And I'm like like, what? You know? Like Yeah. There's no problem, but, a little more spicy than people really is. So yeah.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:33:22]: Alright. Well, we will have all your information in the snow the snow notes. We will have all your information in this show. I'm gonna leave that in. Snow notes. I I am. We'll have all your information in the show notes, including links to The Artist's Way and the I don't even know how old she is now, but when she published her novel at 80 because it is just a phenomenal story. And I can't thank you enough for being on her and sharing the bits and pieces with us and and especially those very tactical, tangible, practical strategies you gave folks.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:33:58]: So thank you so much.

Angela Briones [00:34:00]: Oh, thanks, Jen. Thanks for having me. This is really fun. I appreciate it. It was good to meet you too. Bye.